The topic of death is taboo enough as it is. But when it comes to losing a child, it becomes a subject that people don’t want to even think about, let alone have conversations about. We all live with the knowledge that our loved ones will pass away at some stage, but the general expectation is that the older generations will be taken before the younger ones. 🤞
You will continue to miss them every day
Whether your child dies while they still live at home, or after they’ve gone on to have a family of their own, it’s difficult to say goodbye to someone you brought into the world. Some say the death of a child is like losing a limb — they were part of you, and now they’re gone.
Life doesn’t work out as planned
Everyone has plans, hopes and dreams for the future, and all of those can change in the blink of an eye. So much of life is outside of our control, which is simultaneously freeing and terrifying.
What-if scenarios are inevitable, and they will play in your head on repeat
It’s a natural reaction to something unexpected. Grief has you constantly trying to figure out an alternative scenario that would have different results. It can be used as a way to blame yourself for something that was not your fault. This is a completely normal reaction, but try not to be too hard on yourself.
Grief doesn’t follow a specific pattern
If anything, grief is like a volcano. At the very beginning, it just keeps erupting, but as time goes on, it becomes dormant. It can erupt again at any stage, and can be triggered by the smallest things. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, nor is there a specific timeline. Stress and anxiety show no mercy.
Guilt-free joy is a learning process
The first time you find yourself laughing at a joke, singing along to the radio, or just enjoying life in general after the death of a child, you may feel incredibly guilty. After all, it feels wrong that you should be having a good time when your child no longer has that opportunity.
You’ll start to view time differently
Instead of counting down to their birthday, you will find yourself counting the months and years it has been since they passed away. And both their birthday and the anniversary of their death will be dates on the calendar you may struggle to deal with year after year. For some, it becomes a time of celebration, and for others, it’s a time of overwhelming loss. There is no right answer.
Memories do fade
The human brain is incredibly powerful, but some memories are stronger than others. No matter how hard we try to hold on to them, memories will fade. It’s up to you to find a way to preserve your favourite memories, whether that’s by journaling, putting together photo albums, or hanging on to something that was near and dear to them. 💛
You don’t have to go through it alone
Allow yourself time to grieve, and take people up on their offer to help. You need time to process it, and your network of friends and family are more than happy to help. Grief affects everyone in different ways, and so some people use helping as an outlet. Let them know your needs so you get the necessary support. 🥰
Your relationship will change
The death of your child may either completely break you, or make you so strong that nothing will be able to break you. The same goes for your partner, so working together to overcome the grief may be challenging, but it’s important to try and be there for one another.
Life keeps going
It is one of the hardest things to come to terms with. You’ve experienced life-altering loss, and nothing about your world seems normal, yet people around you just keep moving along as if nothing happened. It’s made even more difficult if you have other children that need you to be the rock, the one who keeps everything together. Trying to make life keep going for them is a mammoth task.
While we don’t know exactly what you’re going through, we have heard way too many stories about families being torn apart by death. What makes the impossible even worse is when people don’t have their life-admin in place. Their families don’t have life insurance policies in place, or even a will to share their wishes. This makes situations much more difficult trying to figure out financial situations and dealing with grief. Give your family some peace of mind, find a policy that fits for you and buy it today. If you have any questions, please message us firstname.lastname@example.org 💬